Friday, March 26, 2010

What Not to do on an Airplane

It was my last flight of 13 in a 4 day span ... everything had gone smooth up until this point. It was our "go home" flight... what possibly could go wrong? We were finishing up the boarding process. I was in the back working the "B" position and about to walk through the cabin and count the number of passengers we had. That's when I noticed a couple somewhere in their early 40's making out like they had just reached puberty. Disgusting!
It was like soft porn. And to make matters worse there was a young father and son sitting behind them. The father kept looking over at me to do something but I was in complete shock ... How could two adults think this was ok? 
I walked up to the front of the cabin and told the other flight attendant what I had just saw. Out of curiosity, she walked to the back of the cabin and was too appalled by their behavior. Not really knowing what to do we decided to ask the pilots for their opinions ... they found it entertaining but still no good ideas. I wish our Flight Attendant Manuel had a section for situations like this.
As time went on the making out got progressively worse. It finally got to the point where the guy had the woman pinned up to the window. I think if nothing were said they would have pushed it even further. After going back and forth to see who had the guts to say something the other flight attendant marched over and asked them, politely, to please act more decent in front of the other passengers. phewwww!

This type of stuff pisses me off. If you want to act like animals then rent yourself a private jet, go join the mile high club ... whatever you need to do. But be curtious of those around you.

People never cease to amaze me.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Beverage Service From Hell

I find it necessary to talk about the beverage service.
So here's the scene: The beverage cart is being pushed/pulled to the front of the cabin. I then hand out napkins and ask passengers if they would like a beverage. Once they make their selection, I pour their drink into a plastic cup and hand it to them. Now just say you're sitting a few rows back and I'm making my way towards you. Granted, you may not hear exactly what I'm asking the passengers sitting in front of you but wouldn't you have a general idea what was going on? Then why is it that when I'm handing a person a napkin they act dumb and say "Excuse me, what did you say"?
"I said would you like a beverage"?
"I'm sorry can you repeat that"?
What the hell do you think I'm asking you!!!! Just take the friggin napkin and tell me what you want already!!

This is another funny scenario. Last night there were two brothers somewhere in their 30's. They were sitting across from each other in the same aisle in the back. I went to the first brother and asked him what he would like for a drink. "Ah, what do you have"?
"Coke, Diet Coke, Apple, Orange, Cranapple, Tomato, Sprite, Diet Sprite Ginger Ale, Water, Coffee".

"I'll have a Sprite".

I then asked the next brother what he would like for a drink. "Hmmmmm, ahhhh, I don't know ahhhh, what do you have"?

"Coke, Diet Coke, Apple, Orange, Cranapple, Tomato, Sprite, Diet Sprite Ginger Ale, Water, Coffee".

"Excuse me what kind of juices did you say you have"?

"Apple, Orange, Cranapple and Tomato"

"I'll have a Sprite".

Are you kidding me? Not only did I go over all the BASIC drinks that you would ever find on an airplane TWICE, now because you took so long to decide, I  have forgotten the 3 other requests that were before you ... thanks a lot.

And one other thing I think is important to mention ... when I go around to collect trash, don't then decide to drink your beverage and expect me to stand next to you until you finish. And when I pass you by because you are obviously not ready, don't grab my arm or start yelling "Mam" at the top of your lungs. And if you see that my trash bag is full, don't insist on stuffing your cups in until everything overflows onto the floor. And last but not least, if I'm collecting trash and it becomes turbulent, don't throw away your five items of trash one at a time. I'm not risking my well being for you ... it's not worth it.

ugh, I'm glad I got that off my chest.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Buisness Men And Their Umbrella's

There's one thing I have noticed about airline travel ... it seems to bring out the selfishness in all of us.
The other day I was on a flight to Orlando. My boyfriend was putting his luggage in the overhead bin and a man sitting a row accross from us started fussing that my bf's luggage was now blocking his umbrella. Apparently if the umbrella wasn't visible this man was worried about leaving it behind. My boyfriend reassured him that he would remind him of his umbrella once we arrived in Orlando. But reassurance did not comfort this man one bit. He kept shaking his head in disapproval and looking over at me as if I was supposed to inform my boyfriend of how inconsiderate he was being.
Now seriously, how can you claim a whole overhead bin for one umbrella? Especially when theres no other space available!
I notice scenarios like this all of the time. So many people never willing to help another fellow traveler out ... why is that? We teach our kids to share and be fair. Why does it seem that the adults need the lesson ... must we go back to our Barney days? What's the harm in putting your laptop case under the seat in front of you to accommodate a larger bag... why not take a seat in the back so the person with the handicap can take your seat in the front? So many different scenario's, so little time ...
I don't know, it's just a thought. Pass it on ... and whatever you do, never mess with a buisness man and his umbrella.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Welcome to Airport Etiquette 101

I'm convinced people leave their brains at the entrance to the airport.
What a way to start a new blog, eh? That observation is exactly what gave me the idea to start this blog. My plan is to incorporate airline travel tips, things to do and not to do in airports/airplanes, and also share a funny story or two.
In my line of work crazy things happen to me all of the time. Whether it's an essential button popping off of my blouse in the middle of a beverage service or a passenger accusing me of pulling down his shirt to expose his nipples (I know it makes no sense but it has happened). Whatever it is I can assure you that it will be entertaining.
So sit back, relax and enjoy the ride and thanks for stopping by!